Heh, Gunners looks super-young in this. He’s actually about my age. Which is… not super-young. ¬.¬ Pretty young. Young enough to do crazy stuff like this, ha ha!
Of course, you’re never too old for that.
“I get off on being with someone who is happy,” I said.
“Oh,” she said, “you are such a sick, sick fuck,” and then kissed me.
Future Fetishwear
I see photos of people dressing up in kitchy Mad Men-style and then lifting up skirts and unbuttoning pants. How long will it be before people are wearing hoodies as hot retro clothes to wear during sex? Is there some other key bit of apparel that’s going to be fetishized even more?
I went on a date last night and then you texted and asked, again, whether I would come there. Start our days with coffee, end with you making dinner. Forever. I feel myself tug towards yes and then I remember why it will always be no with you and I.
There are people in your life who are going to love you for all of the wrong reasons. They will love you for the best part of your face, the best part of you naked, the best mood on your best day, the best story you ever wrote, the best outfit you ever wore.
They are going to miss the scar on the underside of your nose from the time your older brothers dared you to run across a pile of logs. They won’t know that you fell on a hidden nail just as you completed the challenge. They’ll miss the scar on your finger, too from the time you were seven and closed a swiss army knife on it. They won’t understand that these are two of only a handful of things you can remember about your childhood. They’ll notice that you have great tits, but they’ll miss that your thumb tucks into their palm when you’re walking together and that your eyes have darker circles when a migraine is coming. They won’t know you get migraines. They won’t ask where the story you wrote came from, so they’ll never know that it was true. They’ll love it because it feels real to them. They’ll miss knowing the sweatshirt full of holes that they criticized you for wearing was your dads. You might tell them some of these things along the way, but they will remember the best things instead.
They will love your good moods, your energy, your sense of humor, but miss that you never turn to them, but rather to a shower or a pillow or the back of your throat to shed tears. They won’t ever consider you strong.
When the parts that aren’t your best come out, some people will shield their eyes as if you have just forced them to look directly into the sun for hours until their irises burn. They’ll silently make you promise to never show them that again. Those things are not to be shown. Be at your best so I can love you. I would love you more if only you never show me those things.
And you do not marry those people. You do not sit and sleepily drink coffee with those people. You leave those people and you remind yourself that they missed the better parts of you.
weepingkind-movedtothanksjupiter:
Greatest intro to a porn ever. Technically SFW.
lemon whores stealing lemons
I’m like 90% sure they just sat those actors down and told them to talk about how much they liked lemons until their next cue. You can practically see them internally cracking up about the shit they’re saying. ”Hey hasn’t it been about ten seconds since we last looked at our lemon tree?”
The full video is even better. It just gets more and more ridiculous.
The full video is one of the best things humanity has to offer right now.
wut
